Houston City Tournament- R.I.P. Fat Jer - The WPH MB

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JFlores

Registered: 10/20/07
Posts: 7

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    01/19/09 at 08:02 PMReply with quote#1

FatJEr As we all know him was upset tonight in the city tournament.  The number 5 seed was beaten in the tiebreaker by young the 11th seed James Grogan (or a Spare as Cheerry likes to call us).

Tonight we saw the transformation of Fat Jer from contender to pretender or like some of us would say a spare plus.



bjrowley

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 314

    01/20/09 at 09:45 AMReply with quote#2

oh lord......i thought by the title jerry died.....whew.....glad to know it was only a tournament loss. 
beth
eggman

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 94

    01/20/09 at 10:43 AMReply with quote#3

We now call James Grogan by the nickname "Captain Ahab" ...the whale killer.

Eggman
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    01/20/09 at 10:46 AMReply with quote#4

Quote:
Originally Posted by bjrowley
oh lord......i thought by the title jerry died.....whew.....glad to know it was only a tournament loss. 
beth
Are you really, though?


I'm hating right now and I am sorry. 

<smile>

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bjrowley

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 314

    01/20/09 at 10:56 AMReply with quote#5

jerry's my buddy.....although no one can figure out why i like him so much.  folks in texas wonder how i cohabitate with one of the 3 most controversial hb'ers in texas (landon) and am best friends with the other 2 (jer & stan melnick).  i once got landon & stan to play doubles together in a tournament....everyone thought i should "run for office" after that.  anyway, glad jer's ok and i look forward to seeing everyone in new york.  should be fun (and cold).
beth

BenThum

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    01/20/09 at 11:35 AMReply with quote#6

Beth,
very impressive diplomatic skills. You should be in politics ~ handball  politics is always so interesting ~




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sayno2fatjgarcia

Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 2,848

    01/20/09 at 11:46 AMReply with quote#7

Quote:
Originally Posted by BenThum
Beth,
very impressive diplomatic skills. You should be in politics ~ handball  politics is always so interesting ~



Well, after all, her step brother is the Attorney General of Texas.  Also, Beth is just to the left of Mussolini, which in Texas, makes her about middle right.  You two share nothing on the political front.

The only thing that feels dead is my right shoulder (serious rigormortis yesterday and worse today).  Props to James Grogan aka Captain Ahab fkn The Pale One.  The lad hung tough in a game 2 come back and then forged a 9-0 lead in the tiebreaker that was too much to overcome. 

I thought I had gotten better after kicking that short little brown man (P. Dan Acosta) around 2 weeks ago.  Oh well. There is always next year.

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eggman

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 94

    01/20/09 at 03:24 PMReply with quote#8

The good news is that Fat Jerry is out of the tournament.  The bad news is that Fat Jerry is out of the tournament...who are we going to have fun with now??

Eggman
sayno2fatjgarcia

Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 2,848

    01/21/09 at 02:57 PMReply with quote#9

East New York's (not to be confused with East NYC by the way) pride and joy (along with rappers Masta Killa, AZ, & Uncle Murda)  JFlo aka own Jack Flores lost to retired Dow Chemical PhD Engineer Dick McGirk in round one.  Indeed; a 65 year old can whup a 27 year old's ace IF the 27 year is bad enough (not bad as in what rappers refer to as bad;  I mean BAD).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_New_York,_Brooklyn

At noon today, the Magical TAMU maroon Eddy's Johnson over came Dick McGirk in 2 str8.  In past years, Eddy's has run the Houston Marathon on Sunday and played in the City tournament on a Monday. 

Otis aka Omar Lemus allegedly won his 1st round match as well.  Can't remember who he beat.  Otis will take on Captain Ahab aka UT's own James Grogan Thursday night.

Last year's champ, Hose B aka Jose Cevallos, Jr. is a reported fatty (Cory Commerce Medrano alleges "he gains fat just like a woman") and recovering from LASIK surgery (and therefore is not playing).

I got Big D Helmut I (Wally World aka Jeff Wall being Big D Helmut II) Ned Kovas in the 1st round of consolation.  Ned agreed to play at the new Houston Handball Mecca aka 24 Fitness, experiencing 300% growth in handball players in recent months (we got 3 and maybe 4 very soon).  Since my crib is considered an away game, I agreed to buy Ned wine afterward.  You know those Big D guys prefer wine. Anything to avoid the commute Downtown.

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sayno2fatjgarcia

Registered: 12/14/05
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    01/23/09 at 04:37 AMReply with quote#10

P. Dan Acosta PUMMELED Buffy Jim LeBouef 1 & 6 last night at the downtown Y.  Captain Ahab aka James Grogran, apparently weakened by his first round match, called in sick and will not be able to play Otis Lemus until Tuesday of next week.


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eggman

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 94

    01/23/09 at 01:51 PMReply with quote#11

"Hook" Reeve has been making noises about being a shoo-in for the City title (in view of the absences of the Pink Panther and Hose-B).  I think Eddy's Johnson has a serious chance to pick up his first title. 

Eggman
sayno2fatjgarcia

Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 2,848

    01/23/09 at 02:26 PMReply with quote#12

Eddy's Johnson has about as much chance of winning the title as I do (NONE!).  It will be either "Otis" Lemus or Hook. 
I plan on taking $100 from Otis and $50 from JFlo aka Jack Flores when Hook puts Otis down.  This will be quite embarrassing for Otis since Hook is so FREAKING OLD and has not played much of anything other than Golf since Nationals.  A short little fat dark horse remains in the tournament in the person of one P. Dan Acosta.

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eggman

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 94

    01/23/09 at 04:42 PMReply with quote#13

When I saw Danny "Mountain Goat" Pry take Hook to a tie breaker recently, I know that Hook is in no shape to take the city title this year.  In fact, he might not make it to the finals.  Otis seems convinced that Hook has nothing on him.  If Otis' wedding plans don't confuse him toooo badly, Otis can win.  Hook hasn't been tested yet.  Even the Neumanator got 6 points off of Hook.

Eggman
hawkeyehandball

Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 21

    01/24/09 at 06:37 PMReply with quote#14

7 months till toledo, tell fatjerry that i'll come to houston and help him train, cold beer hot smokes, and no shuteye

sayno2fatjgarcia

Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 2,848

    01/25/09 at 07:54 PMReply with quote#15

Thanks Terr Terrific!  Sounds like a plan, dawg.

I saw Hook Reeve yesterday.  The mo-fo said he played cut throat with Otis Lemus v. the Pink Panther.  Hook suddenly has a new found respect for Otis.  He saw a vastly improved player.  I am not happy because I have $150 riding on Hook.  He said he had it covered a month ago.  But, I still have hope on Otis being Otis under pressure i.e. the floor will beat him every time.

Semifinal

P. Dan Acosta v. Eddy's Johnson

Hook Reeve v. Otis Lemus

I got by Ned "Big D Helmut I" Kovas 21-18 & 21-18 in the 1st round consolation.  I had ingested only 800 calories by the time I set foot on the court to play.  I just about died on the court.

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eggman

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 94

    01/27/09 at 12:22 PMReply with quote#16

Big match tonight....Otis ["Omar Lemus"] v. Ahab ["James Grogan"].  I have Otis giving 6 points per game to Ahab.  Fat Jerry...who are you cheering for?  The one that beat you or the bomber.

Eggman
sayno2fatjgarcia

Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 2,848

    01/27/09 at 02:07 PMReply with quote#17

Quote:
Originally Posted by eggman
Big match tonight....Otis ["Omar Lemus"] v. Ahab ["James Grogan"].  I have Otis giving 6 points per game to Ahab.  Fat Jerry...who are you cheering for?  The one that beat you or the bomber.

Eggman
I don't want to cheer for anyone. I just want Captain Ahab to put a good skeer into Otis (take him tiebreaker).  If I did not have $150 on Otis v. Hook in the next round (easy money), I probably would cheer for Captain Ahab.

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sayno2fatjgarcia

Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 2,848

    01/28/09 at 05:44 AMReply with quote#18

I got my wish.  After losing game one 21-15, Captain Ahab kicked the shiite outta Otis Lemus 21-7.  Sadly, down late in the tiebreaker, Captain Ahab tweaked a wheel and was unfortunately not able to compete to the high level he had achieved in game 2.  Thus, Otis Lemus advances to a semifinal show down v. Hook Reeve.  I warned Otis: 

"FEAR the Alesi serve". It is coming your way.  Not to mention several variety of hooks from every conceivable angle.  Bwahahahaha!  I can't wait to collect my $150 from Otis and JFlo.

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eggman

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 94

    01/28/09 at 02:32 PMReply with quote#19

Hook Reeve will be giving 5 points per game to Otis Lemus.  Eddy's Johnson is giving 3 points per game to Provisional Dan Acosta.  Just got back from my starring role on Great Day, Houston.

Eggman
eggman

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 94

    01/29/09 at 11:20 AMReply with quote#20

Houston Handball Tournament Spares Bracket:

Freaky Pete Anderson v. Fat Jerry

Jack-Ace Flores v. Eggman


Houston City Handball Tournament Winners Bracket:

Hook Reeve v. Otis

Eddy's Johnson v. P. Dan
JFlores

Registered: 10/20/07
Posts: 7

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    01/29/09 at 11:45 AMReply with quote#21

someone needs to keep us updated on whats going on downtown right now.

must be nice to have a gig that lets you guys play at noon.

sayno2fatjgarcia

Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 2,848

    01/29/09 at 12:33 PMReply with quote#22

Hook Reeve calls in with a live report:

P. Dan Acosta 21
Eddy's Johnson 12

P. Dan Acosta 21
Eddy's Johnson 16

As usual, I had the line right and Egbert had it wrong.

Otis Lemus v. Hook Reeve tonight at 6 pm


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JFlores

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    01/29/09 at 12:35 PMReply with quote#23

is this dans first final???

well congrats on making it to the final!

So whats the odds of P.Dan winning??

sayno2fatjgarcia

Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 2,848

    01/29/09 at 12:38 PMReply with quote#24

Quote:
Originally Posted by JFlores
is this dans first final???

well congrats on making it to the final!

So whats the odds of P.Dan winning??

P. Dan was my short fat dark horse. If the mo-fo plays up to his ability, he has a 60 to 40 chance of winning, no matter who the opponent is going to be (Otis or Hook).

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sayno2fatjgarcia

Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 2,848

    01/30/09 at 07:26 AMReply with quote#25

Semifinal Results

"Otis" Lemus v. Hook Reeve

This was a very exciting match, which should have been seen by 200 fans, not a standing room lonely audience of Gerald aka Billy Jacobs in a shoulder sling, myself, and for one game, Charlie Tuna aka Charlie Gallop. Captain Ahab aka James Grogan strolled in late in game 2, hoping and cheering for a tiebreaker. Fortunately, the lovely and talented Jessica aka Otis' future Warden, caught the match on a video camera which would be fun to share with everyone.  Hopefully, Otis will work his video media man magic and make it happen.  At least feature all the key points in the match that was indeed a classic.

The match started before the scheduled 6 pm "official" start time. By the time I arrived, Otis was up 10 to 4. Hook said during a time out that Otis was en fuego, rolling everything off the back wall. Hook reported that he was hitting the serve too hard, it was coming off the back wall, and Otis' was putting them all down. Otis usually made good shot selection decisions choices with some noted exceptions, when he would mid-rally, do something irrational and bizarre, which cost him to lose a point he had totally in the bag. Charlie Tuna said, "The problem with Otis is software; nothing wrong with the hardware". That summed up the match. Fairly even hardware (with a nod to Otis), but Chuck's software was far superior when the match was close, enabling him to earn the tough decisive points. A history of being in such a situation many times before served the calm and cool veteran well. This was Otis' first time in the "box" so to speak. Hook's serve shined at the end of both games; hard breaking, deceptive hooks that either caught either side wall for an ace, or were sliding and hopelessly fading away from the outstretched arm of Otis. Perhaps the main factor which caused Otis to not take either game was his lack of thinking in the service box in contrast to Hook's perhaps divine use of said box. Tuna observed, "If you got a bazooka, why lob it into play. You got to use what you have and Otis has the power", as Otis delicately lobbed a candy ace under hander, which Hook promptly slapped to the ceiling, causing Otis to scramble back to the rear corner to miss a tough back wall shot. Otis did not exert enough pressure on Hook's defense from the service box, electing not to use the power at his disposal.

Not only did Hook play far above my expectations, serving well, hitting wise "make him run" shots during a rally, hitting superb cross court kill shots to the left corner which kept Otis off balance and usually died unreturned, but, his lack of conditioning never was a factor. Otis exhausted all of his time outs and Hook took none, save one glove change. To his credit, despite the pressure, Otis played superbly, even during the clutch points at the end of both games. I conclude that Otis did not lose; Hook won.

Props to both players for the free show which was "Masta" Card priceless. Well, not quite priceless for some; one mo-fo owes me $100 and another owes me fitty $.

The best gem of the evening came from Provisional (P) Dan Acosta (even Captain Obvious would be embarrassed). The title of the email is:

"Game 2 match over Hook 21 Otis 19. Long rally Back wall set up and Hook killed the mo fo"

But yet, P. Dan asks:

"Who won game 1?

Daniel G. Acosta"

I hope P. Dan's depositions go better than that!

The second best gem of the evening came from Egbert, who said:

"Sorry I couldn't make it. I am sitting in a damn high school production of the play "Singing in the Rain" out here in stinkadena."   For those who don't know, Pasadena, Texas is a NASTY and foul industrial city along the Houston Ship Channel.  Historically, due to the industrial tax base, their school district had so much jack they could furnish satin underwear to the band members (Not so much now with Robin Hood distribution of tax funds).    Can you imagine anything more horrid than to spend an evening watching a high school production of "Singing in the Rain"?????  Needless to say, this had to be the warden's idea.

The third best gem of the evening came from JFlo, who said:

"I could not attend due to family obligations". In other words, the warden had other plans for his ace.  But, as I reported to the faithful few not in attendance through my blackberry, JFlo cheered his man (Otis) on through email:

Come on Omi!!!  Damn im about to make my way down there and coach.
 
Now, if any of you have seen the pride of East New York aka JFlo play, that last statement would have you rolling on the ground.  If Otis DID take a JFlo playing tip, that WOULD ensure a loss. Unlike Dubya, JFlo does not employ the best strategery. JFlo likens himself to the Phoenix Suns of handball;  no need to play D.  Well, there is a need, and hopefully, before JFlo goes 0 for 2009 against Egbert, JFlo will have his epiphany.
 
The final is scheduled for a week from this upcoming Monday (5:30 pm start) because  P. Dan is going out of town on bidness. Hopefully, his mind will sharpen up between then and now, or else I fear a victory for "the other side". 

If P. Dan comes correct, THIS will be barn burner, due to what should be the wise use of excellent "software" and comparable "hardware".

Fats


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JFlores

Registered: 10/20/07
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    01/30/09 at 09:52 AMReply with quote#26

yeah Gerardo like im going to listen to a man who has been married to three wardens.

I guess when it comes to marriages your motto is "Practice makes perfect"

sayno2fatjgarcia

Registered: 12/14/05
Posts: 2,848

    01/30/09 at 10:37 AMReply with quote#27

Indeed JFlo, you don't listen to me about building up a D with your left, why bother listening to anything else I say. 

Now, SHOW ME THE $$$$$!  Bwahahahaha!

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Weight watch; 238 lbs, down from 268 lbs on March 3rd; oops, back up to 249 as of 11/28/11
eggman

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 94

    02/10/09 at 11:23 AMReply with quote#28

New and Old Houston City Champion:

Hook Reeve over P. Dan Acosta  21-18, 21-10.  An excellent job of line-making occurred.  The line in the first game was 4.  The line in the second game was 11.  Hook is now the oldest city champion in history.  We believe it is his 9th title.  Hook is looking lean and mean.  It could be tough for competitors in the Dallas tourney.

In the spares division, Jack-Ace Flores is battling the Eggman in the semi-finals.  JFlo is looking for his first win against the Eggman this year.  Winner faces Fats in the Finals.

Eggman
eggman

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 94

    02/11/09 at 01:20 PMReply with quote#29

Eggman whupps JFlo in semis of spares division...21-12, 6-21, 11-8.  Jack-Ace  whiffed on a set up at 10-8 in breaker.  This leaves the Eggman with a match with Fats for the spares championship.

Eggman
eggman

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 94

    02/12/09 at 01:02 PMReply with quote#30

As a side note:

In a doubles matchup of Tyler "Pink Panther" Hamel and Fats Garcia v. Otis Lemus and Commerce Corey Medrano, Otis and Corey whupped the Panther and Fats 21-18,

AND ASTONISHINGLY 21-3...Fats was toooo big of a load even for the Panther to carry.

Eggman
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